Friday, September 11, 2009

Lazy blogger

Not really.

I know my blog posts and frequency thereof have suffered a lot over past months. I remember brighter blogging days when I had so much to say and so often I came up with some rather profound thoughts - if I do say so myself. At times I wonder where those profound thoughts went. The question is - did I actually stop having profound and meaningful thoughts all together or have I merely lost the ability to verbalize them in a coherent fashion. Not sure which. Who knows. Maybe the fact that I can't even answer that questions is the answer in and of itself. Hmmm - you think?

But all in all I don't feel too bad about my lack of blogging. So often a blog entry doesn't happen out of sheer lack of energy and time. But at times it is a conscious choice I make to NOT spend my time in front of the computer. This choice is backed by the same thoughts and feelings that have been behind my refusal to hop on the facebook bandwagon. The computer is already a very tempting, alluring time waster for me without it. I don't need something else to pull me away from the more important things sitting right in the next room - both people and activities. I thoroughly enjoy the Internet and the blogging world I have become a part of. I have met many wonderful people. But it would be better to leave blogging, etc. behind altogether than to lose the opportunities to spend time with the people I love most and doing the activities I enjoy more than blogging. Not that I am pulling out, but do you understand what I am saying?

Twenty minutes playing a game with the kids is of more value to me than 20 minutes staring into cyberspace.

Thirty minutes of quilting gives me more joy and satisfaction than creating nothing of beauty on the computer.

Completing all of day's lessons with peace and quiet and joy is far more satisfying than catching up on all the blogs and taking rabbit trails.

Being available to shepherd and listen to my children means more to me than turning them away because I am "busy" on the computer.

So, I have been turning the computer off after checking in in the mornings. I will turn it on at lunch time to check in again and then turn it back off. Then I will try to keep it off as long as I possibly can into the late afternoon and early evening. It is freeing. I get more done. I am more peaceful.

Aaaah, peace. Another thing I am trying to do to gain more peace back in my life is to wake before the children to pray. Once upon a time I was so good at this and I relished being up before sunrise to spend an hour or more in reading and prayer. Over the past two years, it has been a real struggle for me. 5:30 just hasn't happened and may not. I am trying to work a more reasonable schedule for getting up and beginning my day. I have had a few successes and more failures, but I will keep at it. Because I tell you nothing brings me more peace than this.

All in all, our days are good. We have a rhythm to our schooling and our days. We have enjoyable activities and lots of wonderful friends. Our new home (six months now) fits us well. It is a great home! I am enjoying my quilting. It has just been so busy. Even without too many activities, just the quiet of our days at home is tiring for me. But it is a happy tired for the most part. I enjoy my home schooling life with my children. It is tough, but it is a blessing and I wouldn't trade it.

So if my posts are less frequent, it is a good thing. Someday blogs may be a thing of the past and we will strain to remember what the fuss was all about. But my children and my husband are forever. I want to be with them in eternity. So there my focus should lie.

May your days be blessed.

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