Am I ready?

NO!

I am so not ready for my dear Brian to return to work tomorrow! I will miss his help, his pep talks, his encouragement, but most of all his company. I will just miss having him around. I love it! And I love him! But I am thankful. Thankful that he has a job where 2 weeks off is a possibility. So very grateful.

I am not ready to be a mother of four all on my own. Tomorrow real life begins again. I do not feel ready. But nevertheless tomorrow morning will arrive and I will roll out of bed and be ready. I have to be. And deep down I know that His grace is sufficient for me to make a success of the day. Things will be different than 2 weeks ago. Things will not be the same. So I must usher in a new normal. And so I shall begin - with a heaping helping of prayer from me and you.

It has been an odd 2 weeks. Like I posted earlier, Tuesday found Andrew sick - throwing up, etc. By Thursday afternoon he was doing well and improved daily. We really were thrilled to be out of the woods. No one else was sick! Yahoo. UNTIL..... yesterday morning. We went out to run an errand Saturday morning and while I was in Kohl's and Brian was driving the children around the parking lot, Nicole threw up. I told Brian that as I stood in the incredibly slow moving checkout line, I knew deep down she was going to throw up in the car. That mother's intuition is sure something!!!! She had been complaining all morning about her tummy hurting. That is not uncommon for her, but it usually goes away pretty quickly - this didn't. I suspected something was up. It was! As we drove home I felt so many emotions - anger, frustration, sense of futility, fear, anxiety, worry! Why had I worked so hard to keep everything sanitized while Andrew was sick? Was Michael still at risk????? Not to mention Nicole had three rashy spots (Brian informed me in the car) that had cropped up last night. Oh great! I showed Brian my arm. I had one too! It was a perfect match. Will I get sick???? I am not sick yet. I must have the virus, but hopefully it will not manifest in the same way. It seems to me that instead of a stomach bug, it is a "non-specific viral illness." The book's description seems perfect, including the rash. I am so frustrated by all of this. I just want it to be over. Please pray for an end.

I am doing well otherwise. I had my 2 week check-up and everything looks great. I can drive now! For the most part I feel great and pretty close to normal. There are still some pains, but not so much that it bothers me if I skip my Advil. I have devised ways for getting Andrew in and out of things where I would normally have to lift him. I think it will all work out. I am thankful for my healing. God has been so good!!!!!

I hate to complain and I hope this post isn't too whiny, but it is what's in my heart and on my mind. I know things will be OK. I know God will give me what I need. I know it will be hard, but it will get easier - much like it has each time before. My life is richly blessed. And the degree to which I remember that and act upon it will determine the course of tomorrow, the next day, the whole week and the months to follow. Yes, I am richly blessed.