No, I am not perfect,

but I am being made perfect in my weaknesses.

"But he (the Lord)said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' I will all the more gladly boast of my weaknesses, that the power of Christ may rest upon me." 2 Corinthians 12:9

I am weak. Yes I am. And proud of it - why? Because today I realized that God can do wonderful things with my weaknesses. Today had the potential to be a really difficult day. Andrew has had a fever and was cranky off and on. Nicole is over her fever, but extremely disagreeable, argumentative and prone to use screaming for dealing with any and all situations. Jacob, while mainly his cheerful self, had a few emotional outbursts. And Brian is still not in perfect physical shape after our bout with strep. At some point today (maybe late yesterday) I realized that if I did not change ME (not Nicole or anyone else), then I would not survive the day. It had all the ingredients to be one of those days. Upon this realization (divinely inspired, I am sure), I opened up my tightly clenched hands, held them up and offered the contents to God. I gave him the control that I daily try so desperately to hold on to. Control over illness. Control over children and their emotions and attitudes. Control over interruptions to routine. Then we had the following conversation:

God: Remember that blog entry where you said that screaming and yelling never works?

Celeste: Yep!

God: That's right, huh?

Celeste: Yep!

God: Well, then let's pretend. Pretend that you have no control. Pretend that you are bothered by nothing. Pretend you are that calm, cool, collected Mommy you so desire to be. Pretend you can't stop smiling. Pretend that you are the best disciplinarian out there. Pretend you can't yell, even if you tried. Do it for me - just pretend.

Celeste: O.K.

And so I did. I put on my best "Mommy of the Year" costume and began this little experiment. I pretended all day long and by days end, it was sort of coming naturally, with little effort. I fairly and calmly sent Jacob to time out for his offenses. I lightheartedly managed Nicole's screaming fits and endless arguments. I picked up cranky Andrew and held him longer than normal with a thankful heart. I pretended my way through this day and it worked. Like I said, I am not perfect - never will be. But today I was being refined and molded and taught as I turned over my weaknesses to Him. HE did it for me! His grace really was sufficient!

I am amazed how the Lord took a day like today, one that could have been filled with tears and frustration, and turned it all to joy. Dinner time rolled around and I was actually joyful. I told Brian, I actually felt quite liberated by all this pretending! I even joyfully told the "whine" at dinner (or should I say whiners) that everything before them, including their placemats, would be permanently removed for the rest of the meal if the "whine" didn't stop. Wow - amazing Lord!

As a result, I am looking forward to much more pretending tomorrow - with lots of prayer mixed in!