Tuesday, July 17, 2007

Poor Me

I have been stuck in the "poor me" pity party ALL DAY! I would say it is not fun (I am not enjoying myself in the truest sense of the word), but it must be fun. It has to be fun or I would have left the party hours ago.

The two littlest ones have napped well this afternoon and I had some time to work on plans for the school year. But even after spending lots of time on the computer while Jacob and Nicole played beautifully together and accomplishing a lot, I still felt tense and frustrated.

So I stopped and went in the kitchen to wander. I wandered over to the watercolor paintings that Jacob and Nicole had done earlier. They were dry and they made me smile. The first two are Jacob's and the third one is Nicole's.

Before I knew what I was doing, I tore out a sheet of watercolor paper and began creating.

I am not an artist - not one little bit! I do not know the first thing about watercolor painting. My creation will never make it in any of Sister Wendy's books. But as I painted I felt a burden lifted off my shoulders. I felt as though I were floating. I added color and I brushed. Maybe it was in the act of quieting my mind and doing something that I will not try to be perfect at that allowed me to feel some relief. At some point Nicole joined me to create another painting. What a joy!

After I had done most of the painting, I looked at my butterfly and noticed it had an angry "face". Maybe that is symbolic. Actually, I think it is called "Celeste doesn't know how to paint". Hopefully on another, more cheerful day, my watercolor butterfly would look a little happier. Oh, well.


He who wears the most black wins. said...

I am praying for you, dear friend. I felt like I might have been invited to that little party you had for yourself today.

Let's keep praying for each other. Shall we?

Jill said...

Popping in to say that I'm praying for you.
And I think you should hang that butterfly right up on your refrigerator!

Melissa said...

Oh, dear friend. I think your painting is lovely, and I love that it brought you peace and relief, even if only for a while. I pray tomorrow is better for you...and the next day...and the next day...

Many hugs and prayers for you!